


Neato As Fuck.

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hercules is finally here as much I want him to be kind of, Modern AU, Multi, Texting, blood is mentioned like once, implied nonbinary!lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:18:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6538720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: LAST DAY OF WORK BEFORE EASTER VACAY </p><p>little lion: ""vacay"" </p><p>laf: I will drop kick you into the atlantic </p><p>little lion: <3 <3 <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neato As Fuck.

**~~~~johnn** : what if sketchers decided to sponsor us

 **little lion** : what do we do ever that warrants us to get sponsors

 **johnn** : idk they're pretty desperate as a company already

 **little lion** : that's true

 **johnn** : would we take it

 **little lion** : I wouldn't

 **johnn** : not even if they gave you money for it

 **little lion** : have you seen their shoes ever

 **johnn** : that's true

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : I wanted to be a fashion designer

 **more like HUNKules** : but not like this

 **johnn** : SORRY????

 **johnn** : DID YOU K I LL SOMEONE???  
  
**laf** : hercules here is getting emo because he wants to make my wedding dress but he keeps getting more orders

 **more like HUNKules** : ITS A LOT OF ORDERS

 **little lion** : MAKE A SCHEDULE

 **more like HUNKules** : I HAVE ONE

 **little lion** : HAVE YOU EVER ASKED ANYONE ELSE TO CHECK IT

 **more like HUNKules** : nO

 **little lion** : send me it along w/ all of your orders and other things 

 **more like HUNKules** : alex you are on a schedule for evERYTHING

 **more like HUNKules** : YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO REVIEW ANOTHER ONE

 **little lion** : ITS BECAUSE I HAVE A SCHEDULE FOR EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TIME TO REVIEW YOURS

 **more like HUNKules** : oh true

 **more like HUNKules** : okay here it is be gentle

\---  
  
**little lion** : hercules

 **little lion** : dear

 **more like HUNKules** : oh god

 **little lion** : you forgot about knitting club which is TOMORROW, six orders aren't even on here, we are going to your parent's house in three days so you can't work then, AND you need to schedule free days if anything new comes along

 **more like HUNKules** : god bless america

 **little lion** : just providing for the commonwealth

 **johnn** : what the fuck

 **johnn** : new york is also n o t a commonwealth

 **little lion** : toemaytoe toemaughtoe

 **laf** : what the fcku

\---

 **laf** : WOW OKIE DOKIE SUPER GREAT

 **little lion** : I

 **laf** : I just wroTE A WHOLE THING FOR G WASH IN FRENCH AND DIDN'T REALIZE

 **little lion** : oh god

 **laf** : SENT IT TO HIM

 **little lion** : OH GOD

 **laf** : HE ASKED ME IF I NEEDED TO TAKE A LEAVE OF ABSENCE AS IF TOMORROW ISNT THE LAST DAY OF WORK BEFORE WE HAVE OFF FOR EASTER

 **little lion** : M E

 **laf** : I HAVE TO REWRITE THIS WHOLE THING NOW

 **little lion** : good lucK

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : KNITTING CLUB TIME

 **laf** : I just dropped him off and watched as meredlth came out to hug him

 **laf** : she is SO LITTLE COMPARED TO HIM

 **laf** : it's actually kind of cute

 **johnn** : and yet you fail to get pictures

 **laf** : I am not getting out to take pictures of hercules and this woman

 **johnn** : that's SO rude

 **laf** : DONT BULLY ME

\---  
**more like HUNKules** : CALVIN AND MEREDITH ARE SO IN LOVE IT PAINS ME

 **little lion** : I

 **more like HUNKules** : THEYRE DATING YES QUEEN YES QUEEN YES QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

 **more like HUNKules** : WALK A MILE IN THESE LOUBOUTINS

 **more like HUNKules** : THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE FUCKING MADE OF KIDS

 **little lion** : while I'm happy for meredith and calvin

 **little lion** : I am concerned for you

 **more like HUNKules** : THIS IS SO FUCKING NEATO

 **little lion** : H ER CULES

 **more like HUNKules** : HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO CALL MY MOM AND TELL HER

 **little lion** : I don't think I can save you from this

 **more like HUNKules** : SAVE ME FROM WHAT

 **more like HUNKules** : MY FUCKING DESTINY AS A MATCHMAKER 

 **little lion** : BYE

\---

 **laf** : picking up Hercules

 **laf** : he still has a new knitting bag

 **laf** : I don't know where he got it from

 **more like HUNKules** : I GOT IT FROM MEREDITH BECAUSE HER AND CALVIN ARE SHARING BAGS NOW LIKE A TRUE COUPLE

 **johnn** : """a true couple"""

 **little lion** : NONE OF US KNIT TO BE ABLE SHARE BAGS WITH YOU

 **more like HUNKules** : oh my god I should teach you how to knit

 **johnn** : personally I'm fine with not doing that

 **more like HUNKules** : PLEASE WE COULD GO TO KNITTING CLUB AND SLAY AND WE COULD ALL WATCH MEREDITH AND CALVIN'S LOVE

 **johnn** : please never phrase anything like that again

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah true soz

 **johnn** : if it will make you happy I'll learn how to knit

 **more like HUNKules** : REALLY

 **johnn** : yeS

 **more like HUNKules** : I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JOHN YES

 **johnn** : I love you too oh my god are you okay????

 **more like HUNKules** : NO

\---

 **laf** : LAST DAY OF WORK BEFORE EASTER VACAY

 **little lion** : ""vacay""

 **laf** : I will drop kick you into the atlantic

 **little lion** : <3 <3 <3

\---

 **johnn** : I feel like I should be crying

 **laf** : ??? we go back on monday

 **johnn** : still

 **laf** : well I mean

 **laf** : you can if you want like we're not going to stop you

 **johnn** : yeah but will you pick me up from the ground and carry me to the elevator

 **laf** : I am not coming upstairs

 **johnn** : I thought you LOVED ME

 **laf** : I DO BUT I AM N O T COMING UPSTAIRS JUST TO GO BACK DOWN AGAIN

 **johnn** : I will come downstairs and cry directly onto your desk

 **laf** : that is not necessary

 **johnn** : I WILL DO IT ANYWAY

 **laf** : pray for me

\---

 **johnn** : I did it anyway

 **laf** : his tears got on my Important Papers

 **johnn** : can't be that important if you're not taking them w/ you

 **laf** : I AM NOT TAKING ANYTHING WITH ME

 **laf** : WE W ON T EVEN BE HERE

 **johnn** : OH RIGHT WE'RE MEETING HERCULES' PARENTS

 **more like HUNKules** : it's only for like a day

 **more like HUNKules** : two days

 **laf** : WHAT IF THEY HATE US

 **more like HUNKules** : they won't

 **laf** : OKAY BUT LIKE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **more like HUNKules** : theY WONT HATE YOU

 **more like HUNKules** : AND IF THEY DO IT WONT MATTER WE'RE STILL GETTING MARRIED

 **little lion** : they don't know we're getting married

 **more like HUNKules** : f UCK

 **more like HUNKules** : wait how do you know

 **little lion** : because you haven't told us that you told them

 **more like HUNKules** : I don't tell you everything about my parents

 **little lion** : I ASKED YOU YESTERDAY IF YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS THAT WE WERE ENGAGED AND YOU SAID N O

 **more like HUNKules** : oH

 **more like HUNKules** : OOPS???

 **little lion** : ITS LIKE YOU W A N T ME TO DIE YOUNG

 **more like HUNKules** : PLEASE DONT

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : what if we saved our first kiss for our wedding

 **johnn** : we have all already kissed before

 **more like HUNKules** : well I'm all out of ideas

 **johnn** : IDEAS FOR W H A T

 **more like HUNKules** : ANYWAY

 **johnn** : HERCULES

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm not saying someone should come and get me because I stabbed myself with a needle by accident and I've lost A Lot of Blood but bring band aids

 **johnn** : GIVE US LIKE TWENTY FIVE MINUTES

 **more like HUNKules** : HELP ME

 **johnn** : YOU TOOK THE FUCKING CAR

 **more like HUNKules** : n O

 **laf** : THERE'S A FIRST AID KIT IN THE BACK ROOM ON THE TOP SHELF

 **more like HUNKules** : I didn't buy this????

 **laf** : I know

 **little lion** : we did because we want you to live to be thirty

 **more like HUNKules** : god bless

 **johnn** : I PUT IN CANDY I THINK

 **more like HUNKules** : I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

 **johnn** : ;^)))))))

 **more like HUNKules** : stop

 **johnn** : ;^(((((

 **laf** : we're all coming to get you

 **more like HUNKules** : now that I'm bandaged and SEALED I need to keep working so Don't

 **laf** : HERCULES MULLIGAN WE ARE GOING TO YOUR PARENTS TOMORROW AND WHILE I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT TO MAKE MY WEDDING DRESS, YOU WILL BE MAKING NOTHING IN A COFFIN WHEN YOU DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS

 **more like HUNKules** : UGH FINE

 **laf** : 25 mins

\---

 **laf** : CHECKLIST

 **laf** : EASTER OUTFIT COLORS

 **laf** : I HAVE PURPLE

 **more like HUNKules** : I HAVE PINK

 **little lion** : YELLOW

 **johnn** : GREEN

 **laf** : OKAY PERFECT

 **laf** : LETS GO

 **little lion** : do you not care about anything else

 **laf** : „,„,

 **laf** : no

 **little lion** : OKAY LETS GO TO HERCULES' PARENTS HOUSE

 **johnn** : VAMONOS

**Author's Note:**

> I LITERALLY HAVE BEEN SO !!!


End file.
